What Helps When I Feel Overwhelmed?

Technically speaking, I am unemployed. All that means is that the work I do is self-directed and without remuneration. Working at home, alone, usually means work without encouragement or even accountability. My admiration for the world’s great writers grows by the day, as I appreciate more fully the inner perseverance needed for literary productivity.

My big issue now is that there are too many other things to do besides writing, each requiring intense concentration until finished—the kind that pushes all other priorities to the margins.

• Memorizing a lot of music really fast. My husband and I are participating in a choir tour, as guest choristers, for a series of concerts in Seattle and then in Alsace and Germany. We are rehearsing at home, alone, until dress rehearsals in early June. That means reading and learning notes and words, getting in shape vocally (after a lousy winter of lost voice), and committing to memory eighteen pieces, ten of which are new in the last week!

• More medical surveillance. Six medical appointments in two weeks may not seem like that big a deal, but time in the waiting room and conversations with doctors, plus whatever changes to meds or diet or monitoring, all scream “interruptions!” While on my trip to Turkey, I carried a list of meds and their times of administration, so I wouldn’t get off track. Right now, that’s six times per day. I’m hoping after one of today’s doctor visits this will go back down to twice a day. [I remain in awe of the fact that my father-in-law, in his late-90s before he died, took only one blood pressure pill a day!]

• Processing the lessons from the Turkey/Greece trip. How glad I am that I took only 850 pictures! Even so, they all must be labeled, and my faulty memory of their significance must be augmented by notes, guidebooks, and others’ pictures. One of my 2013 regrets was having the debriefing of our Africa trip truncated by the immediate illness and cancer diagnosis to follow. I don’t want that to happen again.

• Making a baby quilt for my niece delivering her first child later this month. It is only a half-day project, but it looms big in my mind, for some reason. Silly, really.

The task list is different, but the effect is the same as when I was an overworked pastor: just too many irons in the fire, requiring too many areas of expertise and hours of concentration each. And this doesn’t even count figuring out the direction of my blog or finishing Slaying the Beast, which requires maintaining a train of thought over a few days to accomplish the next step. At times like this, I am paralyzed by perfectionism, indecision, guilt and dread.

So what is going to help me?

1. God is going to help me, by reassuring me that he notices what I am doing and loves me. He is not withholding his love until I finish something; he does not wait to extend his mercy; his steadfast love for me is being poured out upon me right now.

2. This may seem strange, but I also imagine that Jesus is chuckling at my folly and inviting me to enjoy these activities, because they are “me.” He would say, “Jettison the guilt and the dread; have a good time doing what you love! I’m right alongside you.”

3. Taking more time first thing in the morning to let God breathe life into me through his Word. Like a mini-retreat, this pause de-clutters my mind and ultimately helps me focus on the tasks that follow.  

4. Start. Something. Give it an hour, and assess. Keep going if it is gaining traction, or move on to the next thing and give it an hour. Repeat in cycles, punctuated by a turn in the garden or a ceremonious cup of tea. Once one of these activities takes on a life of its own, submit to it and keep going. Dinner can wait. Laundry can wait. Facebook can wait.

5. Thank God enthusiastically and often: I am alive and have the freedom to make choices. Life is not boring. These projects all have the potential to bless someone. God is good and worthy to be praised.

In my next post—whenever!—I’d like to ponder the question, So what’s so hard about writing a blog?