Theological Reflection

Good News amidst “No Change”

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection / By /

This week between chemo treatments has given my body a chance to recover from the chemical onslaught and I am amazed at how few side effects I am experiencing at this point. More energy has allowed me to participate in a few normal household pursuits; I even went to the grocery store on my own yesterday—Woo-hoo! Reminders of sickness are only an occasional cough and the fatigue that necessitates a nap. It’s interesting that as I feel better, Jesus feels somewhat distant and the sensation of walking in a “thin place” leaves me. That’s a topic for another day, but […]

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Essential Identity

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

The social situations of Thanksgiving week, not to mention the daily high-quality conversations with rotating home helpers, have caused me once again to reflect on some of the assumptions we make in life.  In particular this week, the question is How do I see myself, my essential identity, in light of what has been happening lately? The references to “my friend with cancer,” “she’s a fellow cancer victim,” and other designations that define me (or others) by our ailment have been bothering me a bit. I think I newly appreciate one of the sensitivities my husband has demonstrated for years.

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Dreams of Healing

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

After a weekend of mundane challenges, I’ve had two very positive days and am feeling fine today. Yesterday was my last chemotherapy of “Round 1,” so I have a rest from those particular rigors until December 16. Daily radiation keeps up the attack on the Beast, a foreigner that is doomed. It should just give up now. I had quite a night though—profuse sweating at times, vivid dreams, no sickness whatsoever, and actually pretty darn good sleep despite all the activity. The medical explanation for the night sweats is probably that super-duper steroid they give me with the chemo. I

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Taste and See That the Lord Is Good!

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Food, Lung Cancer, Personal, Sermon Illustrations, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

I have often said that God’s biggest competition in my life was food. Of the seven deadly sins, gluttony has been at the top of the list too many times. So you can imagine how I anticipate the possibility of losing taste while undergoing chemotherapy with Cisplatin. Any medicine with the word “platinum” in the name can’t be good for a foodie like me. I have been wondering when this taste bud transformation would take place, because it hasn’t yet on Day 9 of treatment. Tonight, I celebrated that fact by enjoying the perfect dinner a friend brought to our

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A VAP and the Flow of the Spirit

Leave a Comment / It All Started in the Garden, Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Sermon Illustrations, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

Two weeks ago, I had a Vein Access Port (VAP) surgically installed just below my left front shoulder. Its purpose is to provide reliable access to a central vein for the infusion of chemotherapy. It is imbedded completely under the skin, minimizing infection possibilities and making very efficient use of a durable “drum” pierced by the IV needle every day. And it saves those veins in the arms and hands, which are not always the most comfortable sites for such an intrusion. You can imagine how important it is to keep my VAP channel clear. At the end of each

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To Live Is Christ, To Die Is Gain!

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, The Pastoral Call, Theological Reflection / By /

The news of the Rev. Dr. Henry Greene’s death has silenced me in shock and awe. My dear friend and colleague in renewal work within the PC(USA) died suddenly on Monday, while doing what he loved, hiking in Yosemite National Park. Henry was the real deal, a genuine to-the-core Christian who lived for Christ in all he did. I could devote this entire post as a tribute to him (and may still at a later date), but he would be embarrassed by that and would find a way to shift the focus onto his Lord. So that is what I

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Slaying the Beast

Leave a Comment / It All Started in the Garden, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

Four weeks ago today my doctor told me there was a mass in my upper left lung. Two weeks ago it was identified as a cancerous tumor. In the effort to get my head around this new reality, I have occasionally referred to this tumor as “the beast” and written in terms of slaying it. This is mythical battle language, a genre I am not accustomed to using. Nevertheless, the image sticks in my mind, because there is a foundation of truth underneath it. Unlike Don Quixote, whose imagination led him to believe he was being attacked by giants, I

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The Down-side of Playing It by the Numbers

Leave a Comment / 2012th General Assembly (Pittsburgh), Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, The Property Clause, Theological Reflection / By /

I have had my diagnosis of lung cancer for just one week now, though I was strongly suspicious for a week or two prior to that: enough time to start getting my head and heart around the possibilities. In those weeks, my cough and an antibiotic were making it hard for me to sleep, so there were so many hours and such a big world-wide-web to awaken my curiosity. Bad idea. I saw just one number (the average 5-year survival rate for lung cancer) and made a decision right then and there: I’m not going to do this by the

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Paring Down to Nothing

Leave a Comment / Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Sermon Illustrations, Theological Reflection / By /

You might appreciate the bond between a woman and her purse. If not, it’s like this: Don’t mess with me, baby. My Bandolini bag has provisions for body, mind, and spirit in the form of water bottle, Zone Bar, mini New Testament, wallet, sunglasses, inhaler, lipstick, last week’s church bulletin, iPhone, pencils and pens, cough drops, car keys, iPad, and lip balm. And that’s just the beginning. I am prepared at any given time to be away from home most of the day with everything I need. But the current lung adventure has required a new ritual. Almost daily this

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On Assignment: A New Perspective on “Call”

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, Romans 8, Theological Reflection / By /

Presbyterians use the term “discerning one’s call” to refer to the process of figuring out one’s vocation. In the Presbyterian/Reformed Tradition, that call is sensed not only by the ministerial candidate personally but by the Presbytery’s Committee on Preparation for Ministry and ultimately by a congregation that desires to call a candidate into pastoral service. It was a Christian community’s process over years’ time that solidified my sense of call to the Ministry of Word and Sacrament. That call, exercised as a pastor-teacher, has shaped my identity and brought structure to my life since 1987. The last seven years “without

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