Theological Reflection

Retrospective on Normal vs. Transformed Life

Leave a Comment / Kenya & Uganda, Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, People, Personal, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

Alene was my senior year roommate at Stanford, and our friendship has been renewed by visits in the last few years, most recently last summer in Bomet, Kenya, where she and Steve are missionaries. Thankful for the blessing of Internet contact, Facebook, and my Caring Bridge site chronicling medical adventures since my diagnosis, Alene and Steve have been keeping up with Naegeli news from afar. Yesterday I received in the mail a hand-made card from Alene. It touched me very deeply and suggested the entry point for my next series of blogs. On the cover is a rather fanciful elephant—known, […]

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To Know Christ and the Power of His Resurrection

1 Comment / Death & Dying, Lent, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

“I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death.” (Philippians 3:10) I decided to wait until after Easter to reflect on my mother’s sudden death, because it just seemed proper to walk through the week of the Passion and Crucifixion of our Lord first. The convincing realization of that remembrance is that Jesus understands our sorrow, our pain, and has fully experienced death itself. What sweet comfort that reality is, and what stupendous hope we have because of his Resurrection that followed! With the knowledge

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The Fifth Mansion: Longing for Oneness with God

4 Comments / Lent, Parnell v. San Francisco, Personal, Romans 8, Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Progress through the Interior Castle, Theological Reflection / By /

Have you ever wondered what Jesus was really praying for in the High Priestly Prayer when he asked his heavenly Father to make us one with Jesus as Jesus is one with the Father? (John 17:22-23). The idea of oneness conjures up different images. I have come into contact with a distinctly Eastern religious view of “oneness with the Universe.” As I understand the concept, the goal of life and the event at death is a complete absorption of one’s personhood and personality into The One Cosmic Being. Only that Universe remains in existence, all other beings having become a

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From This Life to the Next

6 Comments / Death & Dying, It All Started in the Garden, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Theological Reflection / By /

Yesterday’s post relied heavily on Tom Wright’s formulation of what happens when we die. In an attempt to gather all the data, he has come to the tentative conclusion (not having been there himself) that our entry into eternal life happens in stages, and that “eternity” itself—existence outside the parameters of time—actually doesn’t start until Jesus returns in glory to judge the living and the dead. In other words, life after death involves waiting. Mind you, one is waiting in a “good place,” paradise, but the culmination of God’s cosmic history is still in the making. This period of waiting

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Dying and Death Is a Transition

4 Comments / Death & Dying, It All Started in the Garden, Lung Cancer, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

In my contemplation of death, my own and yours—both happening some time in the future, today or decades from now—I have been grappling with the question of why it is hard to die, and we will come back to this in a day or two. We struggle through a process of grief, starting with denial of death itself. Today, I’d like to examine what we have been trying to avoid our whole lives, what is going on when we die. The topic is huge, so I start today with biblical input and some interpretation from N. T. Wright. Tomorrow, we’ll

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Denial of Death Gets Us Nowhere

5 Comments / Death & Dying, It All Started in the Garden, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

Ernest Becker wrote a Pulitzer Prize winning book call The Denial of Death in 1973. I was required to read it in seminary, and its basic message has stuck with me all these years. I am re-reading it now, and finding it more accessible than ever, given my current lung cancer situation. His basic thesis is that all humans have in common a fear of death, and that controlling this anxiety is one of the most powerful motivators of human behavior. This fear is so terrifying that people “conspire to keep it unconscious,” and replace it with conscious, persistent efforts

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The Subject Turns to Death

12 Comments / Death & Dying, It All Started in the Garden, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

One does not encounter a diagnosis of cancer without at some point thinking about where it might lead. I’m talking about death, and my thoughts drifted in that direction around Christmas time when it wasn’t appropriate to write about it. But the time has come to address an issue that cannot be avoided, because we will all face this reality some time. First, though, let me reassure you of some things:  my thoughts are not turning morbid, nor am I in any doubt about the course of my treatment. Nothing has “happened,” per se, to get me thinking about death

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The Eleventh Day of Christmas: Wise Men Curious about That Star

5 Comments / Christmas, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

A couple weeks ago, I had a big decision to make about my cancer treatment: whether to continue radiation to a definitive level (60 Gray) and forgo surgery, or to consider radiation “done” at its current pre-operative level (45 Gray) and plan on lung surgery. I opted for the latter and am preparing for one more round of chemo to be followed by surgery to remove the dying Beast and the lobe it inhabits at the end of February. The decision-making process was facilitated by a chart I worked out, with options and their benefits and risks.  You can see

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Ninth Day of Christmas: A Sign Seals Covenant

3 Comments / Christmas, Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lent, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

When I found out it was lung cancer that was making me sick, a friend from church wrote a sweet note saying, “Welcome to the club nobody wants to join.” In the ensuing days and weeks, others who have traveled this road have come to my attention, sharing from their experiences and welcoming me into a community of people with survivor instincts. Their words of advice and comfort have been particularly meaningful to me. I have also discovered in this process that milestones must be celebrated with some kind of ritual, just for fun, yes, but to mark progress and

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The Eighth Day of Christmas: The Multitude of Angels

5 Comments / Christmas, Kenya & Uganda, Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

A person with cancer often becomes isolated; I have observed that my world has become smaller since November 4. Before I got sick, I was traveling to Kenya and Uganda on vacation. Now it is a major field trip to walk twenty minutes around the block surrounding my house.  Pretty much anyone I see now has come to where I am, since circulation in public places during flu season poses an unnecessary but very real risk to immunosuppressed people. One gets lulled into believing that reality is very small and even quiet, but the Eighth Day of Christmas carries a

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