The Pastoral Call

Prepare to Die—Part II

3 Comments / Death & Dying, Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, The Pastoral Call / By /

Can’t help but start today’s post with the most famous quotation from Princess Bride (with heavy Spanish accent): “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” He gives that warning several times in the classic movie, enough for the viewer to know that nobody is actually going to die any time soon. But the line cracks my funny bone. I am serious today, however, when I say, “Prepare to die.” I am going to die. You are going to die. It may not be anytime soon . . . [Just for the record, my progress […]

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The Five Stages of Grief

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The reality of death has to sink in, and this is a process we undergo as events and realities trigger the question. I share what has been to me some of the most helpful insights into this process, with the hope that you can be encouraged in your own struggle to find acceptance of your own death (or perhaps in the interim, the death of a loved one). During the 1960s a Swiss psychiatrist working at the University of Chicago hospital observed a progression of emotions experienced by dying patients.  Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D., conducted seminars in which the dying

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Spurring One Another On

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Cancer treatment varies depending on the type and stage of one’s particular disease. The protocols tend to be repetitive and cyclical. In my case, chemotherapy runs on a four-week cycle:  one week plus one day “on,” and the remainder of the four weeks “off,” recovering. By the time Week Four rolls around, I am feeling pretty good, almost normal! This is one of those weeks, and I am getting a lot of things done around the house as a result. I’ve been through two complete rounds, and Round Three of chemo begins next Monday. I can pretty much plan on

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The Third Day of Christmas: An Angel Sent to Tell

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The cancer journey involves many notifications, the exchange of news, lab results, or even game-changers mid-way through a course of treatment. Most often, the messenger is the doctor, or in my case one of three doctors representing various disciplines. In the past week, I have had a sit-down with each: the radiology oncologist (last Friday), the surgeon (Tuesday), and the medical oncologist (Friday). Yesterday’s encounter was the summary decision-making meeting. After collating all the data culled from a definitive CT scan and the surgeon’s assessment of it, Dr. Chen brought into yesterday’s meeting a proposal for further treatment: one more

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Christ Enters My World: Christmas According to Matthew

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Preachers have a dual challenge each week, to exegete a scriptural text for preaching and to interpret where their people are in a position to hear it. Because of my current detachment from my church family for wisdom’s sake (avoidance of the colds and flu going around), it seems as though the last thing on my mind these days is Christmas. I have not seen the decorations in the sanctuary, attended a party, or even completed my Christmas shopping. Unlike yours, perhaps, my mental space is occupied at the moment with this decision that will be made on Christmas Eve

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A Long Obedience in a [Tedious] Direction

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The early excitement of entering into treatment for lung cancer has worn off, though the fire burns steady and bright in my spirit. This week I entered Round 2 of chemotherapy (all the while continuing with daily radiation), and there is nothing new to report. Dare I say it? I have the routine down now, and without any drama or new happenings or side effects of note (!), I have been grasping for ideas to write about! Is it true for you, too, that life’s routine puts you in a pattern of activity and behavior that isn’t very exciting? Perhaps

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“You’ve Got a Friend”

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It was inevitable and necessary that I shave off my locks, to cut short the mess and discomfort of a tingly head and hairy shirt collars. When I told my friends the plan, one of them, Sandi, piped up, “I will shave my head, too. What time should I come over?” Astounded at the idea, and concerned for her welfare in winter, I tried to talk her out of it, but she was resolute. So at 8 p.m. last night, Sandi and Jim came cheerfully knocking at our door, and out came the hair clippers. By 9:30 we were both

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Making Things Happen vs. Letting Things Happen

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Right on schedule, my hair started falling out this week in response to the chemotherapy onslaught. Once again, I experienced that loss of control over something as simple as grooming. It has not been upsetting—how I thank the wonderful staff at the cancer center for good preparation—in fact, I broke out in laughter as hair cascaded down my back in the shower. It was as if I were washing away my mane; what an exercise in futility! There are all sorts of directions I could go with this, but I think today I am going to reflect on a concept

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To Live Is Christ, To Die Is Gain!

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The news of the Rev. Dr. Henry Greene’s death has silenced me in shock and awe. My dear friend and colleague in renewal work within the PC(USA) died suddenly on Monday, while doing what he loved, hiking in Yosemite National Park. Henry was the real deal, a genuine to-the-core Christian who lived for Christ in all he did. I could devote this entire post as a tribute to him (and may still at a later date), but he would be embarrassed by that and would find a way to shift the focus onto his Lord. So that is what I

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Thinking Outside the Chemo Cubicle

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Yesterday was my first day of the full-treatment protocol: radiation at 8:40 a.m. and a lengthy chemotherapy infusion starting at 9:15 a.m. All in all, it was a very good day, surprising even, and you can read the medical details on my log if you’d like. I promised I wouldn’t bore my blog readers with the techie stuff here, and I won’t. However, they will appreciate more what I share here if they understand the backdrop of consulting nurses, fiddling with devices, observing possible side effects, measuring renal output, and learning how to operate that cool recliner. When I arrived

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