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Living in Suspense

Leave a Comment / History, It All Started in the Garden, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, Teaching, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

One of the pleasures of a quiet life, and the hours each day spent in the chemo chair, is reading a good recreational book. Right now I’m working on a legal thriller called Havana Requiem by Paul Goldstein. This tightly written novel by the Stanford author unfolds in Grisham style to reveal the rich tapestry of pre- and post-revolution Cuba, and particularly the music associated with it. Some of the “Aha” moments are discoveries of cultural significance (as opposed to “a body in the library,” although one gets that, too). All in all, it has me in suspense. So you […]

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Living Water Keeps Flowing

Leave a Comment / Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Spiritual Disciplines / By /

At least once a week, a surprise package arrives in the mail or on my front porch. These random acts of kindness have come from friends far and near, who have sent not a Christmas present but an “open me now” gift of encouragement. Honestly, I am put to shame for lack of creativity all these years walking alongside buddies who have had cancer or some other life-altering medical condition. Just a sampling: Emily sent a pair of cashmere socks which I wear all the time now; Viola sent two headscarves, one so clever I had to call her for

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A Long Obedience in a [Tedious] Direction

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, The Pastoral Call, Uncategorized / By /

The early excitement of entering into treatment for lung cancer has worn off, though the fire burns steady and bright in my spirit. This week I entered Round 2 of chemotherapy (all the while continuing with daily radiation), and there is nothing new to report. Dare I say it? I have the routine down now, and without any drama or new happenings or side effects of note (!), I have been grasping for ideas to write about! Is it true for you, too, that life’s routine puts you in a pattern of activity and behavior that isn’t very exciting? Perhaps

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Freedom in Confinement

Leave a Comment / Current Events, History, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection / By /

The week’s news has been dominated by the death of Nelson Mandela and the celebrations of his life. His greatness is measured by the impact of his personal transformation on a nation sullied by apartheid. His vocal and powerful political advocacy prior to his incarceration was silenced by imprisonment, supposedly; but as we all know, his was a witness of presence in his absence. His body was in the dungeon, so to speak, but his will and his spirit escaped into the conscience of a country and the world. The most remarkable feature of his life turned out to be

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“You’ve Got a Friend”

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, The Pastoral Call / By /

It was inevitable and necessary that I shave off my locks, to cut short the mess and discomfort of a tingly head and hairy shirt collars. When I told my friends the plan, one of them, Sandi, piped up, “I will shave my head, too. What time should I come over?” Astounded at the idea, and concerned for her welfare in winter, I tried to talk her out of it, but she was resolute. So at 8 p.m. last night, Sandi and Jim came cheerfully knocking at our door, and out came the hair clippers. By 9:30 we were both

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Making Things Happen vs. Letting Things Happen

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, The Pastoral Call / By /

Right on schedule, my hair started falling out this week in response to the chemotherapy onslaught. Once again, I experienced that loss of control over something as simple as grooming. It has not been upsetting—how I thank the wonderful staff at the cancer center for good preparation—in fact, I broke out in laughter as hair cascaded down my back in the shower. It was as if I were washing away my mane; what an exercise in futility! There are all sorts of directions I could go with this, but I think today I am going to reflect on a concept

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Serendipity

Leave a Comment / Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Peace Unity & Purity, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

Yesterday, I contemplated the collateral damage that accompanies treatment for cancer, those negative consequences of an action meant to do good. Today, to look on the bright side, we are invited to think about serendipity: the finding of valuable or agreeable things not sought for. A very famous case of serendipity was when the 3M Company, formulating a new adhesive and encountering one failure after another, discovered the compound that became the temporary glue behind the Post-It Note. That discovery was a serendipity! Chemotherapy has had some surprising side-benefits: the steroid given to amp up the anti-nausea medicine has relieved

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Collateral Damage

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

The treatment for a lung cancer like mine is aggressive and hard-hitting. In my case, it involves both chemotherapy and radiation, designed first to shrink the tumor to a size that can be excised safely and also to kill any rogue cells that might be tempted to migrate through my body to make more mischief. The medicines in my chemo infusions have a proven track record, and the treatment protocol between now and surgery is non-controversial. But the regimen is tough on the body because of a reality known as collateral damage. Collateral damage is the harm done to healthy

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Good News amidst “No Change”

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection / By /

This week between chemo treatments has given my body a chance to recover from the chemical onslaught and I am amazed at how few side effects I am experiencing at this point. More energy has allowed me to participate in a few normal household pursuits; I even went to the grocery store on my own yesterday—Woo-hoo! Reminders of sickness are only an occasional cough and the fatigue that necessitates a nap. It’s interesting that as I feel better, Jesus feels somewhat distant and the sensation of walking in a “thin place” leaves me. That’s a topic for another day, but

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Thinking Outside the Pool

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines / By /

As yesterday progressed, I enjoyed more strength and energy than I have experienced in a few weeks. Feeling better surprised me! A sunny, lovely day beckoned me outside. In response to Andy’s request “if I was up to it,” I watered our orange trees as insurance against an expected overnight freeze. Two weeks ago, a slow stroll out to the fig tree was enough exercise to put me down for a nap afterwards. This week, I have been able to walk all the way around our block, almost ¾ mile, and still be functional afterwards. I am coughing very little

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