Bringing the Word to Life

Collateral Damage

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

The treatment for a lung cancer like mine is aggressive and hard-hitting. In my case, it involves both chemotherapy and radiation, designed first to shrink the tumor to a size that can be excised safely and also to kill any rogue cells that might be tempted to migrate through my body to make more mischief. The medicines in my chemo infusions have a proven track record, and the treatment protocol between now and surgery is non-controversial. But the regimen is tough on the body because of a reality known as collateral damage. Collateral damage is the harm done to healthy […]

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Good News amidst “No Change”

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection / By /

This week between chemo treatments has given my body a chance to recover from the chemical onslaught and I am amazed at how few side effects I am experiencing at this point. More energy has allowed me to participate in a few normal household pursuits; I even went to the grocery store on my own yesterday—Woo-hoo! Reminders of sickness are only an occasional cough and the fatigue that necessitates a nap. It’s interesting that as I feel better, Jesus feels somewhat distant and the sensation of walking in a “thin place” leaves me. That’s a topic for another day, but

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Thinking Outside the Pool

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines / By /

As yesterday progressed, I enjoyed more strength and energy than I have experienced in a few weeks. Feeling better surprised me! A sunny, lovely day beckoned me outside. In response to Andy’s request “if I was up to it,” I watered our orange trees as insurance against an expected overnight freeze. Two weeks ago, a slow stroll out to the fig tree was enough exercise to put me down for a nap afterwards. This week, I have been able to walk all the way around our block, almost ¾ mile, and still be functional afterwards. I am coughing very little

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The Great Cloud of Witnesses

Leave a Comment / Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, The Missional Church / By /

The daily radiation treatment has become a quiet time for me, albeit a short, disciplined pause in my morning. Because I must lie very still and relax in an awkward position held in my custom-made cradle, I have found it helpful and even entertaining to let my “holy imagination” roam for those precious twelve minutes or so. Yesterday, my thoughts drifted to the “men [and women] behind the curtain.” I gave thanks to God first of all for the technicians in their cockpit behind that 3-foot lead wall, pushing the buttons and running the computer program that governs the radiation

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Finding the Well

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines / By /

The two daughters and son-in-law are now safely returned to their homes in Seattle. It was a fantastic 4½-day visit over Thanksgiving weekend. Lots of good-natured chaos, meaningful conversations, problem-solving, family activities, picture-taking, movies, food of course, and messes everywhere. Ah yes, the perfect family get-together. I discovered by happenstance that it is a lot harder to monitor one’s physical condition with all that noise, activity, and distraction. I found myself on occasion ready to “crash,” having missed the warning signals of whatever would have gotten me back in my recliner for a rest. No harm done, really; but for

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Essential Identity

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

The social situations of Thanksgiving week, not to mention the daily high-quality conversations with rotating home helpers, have caused me once again to reflect on some of the assumptions we make in life.  In particular this week, the question is How do I see myself, my essential identity, in light of what has been happening lately? The references to “my friend with cancer,” “she’s a fellow cancer victim,” and other designations that define me (or others) by our ailment have been bothering me a bit. I think I newly appreciate one of the sensitivities my husband has demonstrated for years.

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Dreams of Healing

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

After a weekend of mundane challenges, I’ve had two very positive days and am feeling fine today. Yesterday was my last chemotherapy of “Round 1,” so I have a rest from those particular rigors until December 16. Daily radiation keeps up the attack on the Beast, a foreigner that is doomed. It should just give up now. I had quite a night though—profuse sweating at times, vivid dreams, no sickness whatsoever, and actually pretty darn good sleep despite all the activity. The medical explanation for the night sweats is probably that super-duper steroid they give me with the chemo. I

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Taste and See That the Lord Is Good!

Leave a Comment / Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Food, Lung Cancer, Personal, Sermon Illustrations, Spiritual Disciplines, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

I have often said that God’s biggest competition in my life was food. Of the seven deadly sins, gluttony has been at the top of the list too many times. So you can imagine how I anticipate the possibility of losing taste while undergoing chemotherapy with Cisplatin. Any medicine with the word “platinum” in the name can’t be good for a foodie like me. I have been wondering when this taste bud transformation would take place, because it hasn’t yet on Day 9 of treatment. Tonight, I celebrated that fact by enjoying the perfect dinner a friend brought to our

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A VAP and the Flow of the Spirit

Leave a Comment / It All Started in the Garden, Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Sermon Illustrations, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

Two weeks ago, I had a Vein Access Port (VAP) surgically installed just below my left front shoulder. Its purpose is to provide reliable access to a central vein for the infusion of chemotherapy. It is imbedded completely under the skin, minimizing infection possibilities and making very efficient use of a durable “drum” pierced by the IV needle every day. And it saves those veins in the arms and hands, which are not always the most comfortable sites for such an intrusion. You can imagine how important it is to keep my VAP channel clear. At the end of each

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To Live Is Christ, To Die Is Gain!

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, The Pastoral Call, Theological Reflection / By /

The news of the Rev. Dr. Henry Greene’s death has silenced me in shock and awe. My dear friend and colleague in renewal work within the PC(USA) died suddenly on Monday, while doing what he loved, hiking in Yosemite National Park. Henry was the real deal, a genuine to-the-core Christian who lived for Christ in all he did. I could devote this entire post as a tribute to him (and may still at a later date), but he would be embarrassed by that and would find a way to shift the focus onto his Lord. So that is what I

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