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Nothing, and Everything, to Lose

4 Comments / Leadership and Spirituality, PCUSA, Spiritual Disciplines, The Missional Church / By /

In my last post, I observed that the religiously allergic around us need a winsome witness to the gospel and that we must enter into the sort of discipleship practices that will help us give it. Perhaps my readers have had a chance to think about their own resistance to this calling, and in order to do that thoroughly it is wise to count the cost and face it head-on. When we do so, the cost loses its deterrent power over us and puts us into a position to see the mighty hand of God at work in and through […]

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Suppressed Immunities

Leave a Comment / Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, Teaching, The Missional Church, Uncategorized / By /

As my blood counts sink lower, my immunity to “normal” disease and viruses diminishes. Yesterday’s trip to the nurse practitioner for my periodic check-up assessed my vulnerability, which turns out not to be too bad yet. The numbers of white blood cells and hemoglobin are going down, suggesting caution, but this is normal and par for the course. It shows the chemotherapy is doing its job. The advice was, Go ahead to the Aquarium because it is not packed with people and is a wide-open space. But now would be the time to avoid packed-like-sardines scenarios (I translate that to

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Spurring One Another On

Leave a Comment / Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, The Missional Church, The Pastoral Call / By /

Cancer treatment varies depending on the type and stage of one’s particular disease. The protocols tend to be repetitive and cyclical. In my case, chemotherapy runs on a four-week cycle:  one week plus one day “on,” and the remainder of the four weeks “off,” recovering. By the time Week Four rolls around, I am feeling pretty good, almost normal! This is one of those weeks, and I am getting a lot of things done around the house as a result. I’ve been through two complete rounds, and Round Three of chemo begins next Monday. I can pretty much plan on

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The Twelfth Day of Christmas: Magi Bearing Gifts

4 Comments / "The Bible" on History Channel, Christmas, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines / By /

[Yes, my friends, I have been aware for some time now that I started counting my twelve days of Christmas on the wrong day, the day after Christmas. Technically today is the first day of the season of Epiphany, not the last day of Christmastide. So humor me while I pretend that the visit of the wise men is the climax of the Christmas season. I’ll do better next year!] This twelfth day of Christmastide is a special day on my personal calendar. Eighteen years ago on this date my father died suddenly of a cerebral hemorrhage. At the time,

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The Eleventh Day of Christmas: Wise Men Curious about That Star

5 Comments / Christmas, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

A couple weeks ago, I had a big decision to make about my cancer treatment: whether to continue radiation to a definitive level (60 Gray) and forgo surgery, or to consider radiation “done” at its current pre-operative level (45 Gray) and plan on lung surgery. I opted for the latter and am preparing for one more round of chemo to be followed by surgery to remove the dying Beast and the lobe it inhabits at the end of February. The decision-making process was facilitated by a chart I worked out, with options and their benefits and risks.  You can see

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The Tenth Day of Christmas: Two Old Saints Made Happy

4 Comments / Christmas, Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Spiritual Disciplines, Uncategorized / By /

Every once in awhile, especially at night, a thought crosses my mind that perhaps I am living the last year or two of my life. I try not to think about this too much, not because I am in denial about the dangers of my disease, but because it gets me in a place that is counterproductive. I’ll be writing more about this after Christmastide is over. But it does raise the concept of a “bucket list,” a term coined by a 2007 movie of that name, staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. These two hospital roommates bust out of

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Ninth Day of Christmas: A Sign Seals Covenant

3 Comments / Christmas, Essential Tenets of the Reformed Faith, Lent, Lung Cancer, PCUSA, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

When I found out it was lung cancer that was making me sick, a friend from church wrote a sweet note saying, “Welcome to the club nobody wants to join.” In the ensuing days and weeks, others who have traveled this road have come to my attention, sharing from their experiences and welcoming me into a community of people with survivor instincts. Their words of advice and comfort have been particularly meaningful to me. I have also discovered in this process that milestones must be celebrated with some kind of ritual, just for fun, yes, but to mark progress and

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The Eighth Day of Christmas: The Multitude of Angels

5 Comments / Christmas, Kenya & Uganda, Lung Cancer, Personal, Romans 8, Theological Reflection, Uncategorized / By /

A person with cancer often becomes isolated; I have observed that my world has become smaller since November 4. Before I got sick, I was traveling to Kenya and Uganda on vacation. Now it is a major field trip to walk twenty minutes around the block surrounding my house.  Pretty much anyone I see now has come to where I am, since circulation in public places during flu season poses an unnecessary but very real risk to immunosuppressed people. One gets lulled into believing that reality is very small and even quiet, but the Eighth Day of Christmas carries a

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The Seventh Day of Christmas: A King Blinded by Pride

2 Comments / Christmas, Current Events, Leadership and Spirituality, Lung Cancer, Personal, Theological Reflection / By /

It is a Naegeli family tradition on New Year’s Eve to pass the hours between dinner and midnight by watching the 1995 A & E version of Pride and Prejudice. It never ceases to delight and vex, and we have our favorite lines to recite from memory as they pop up in the course of the five-hour-fifteen-minute presentation. If we plan it just right, the wedding bells begin to ring right on the stroke of midnight; great fun. The two main characters struggle with communication-choking predispositions:  Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth) is a sulking, prideful man who is fixated on class

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The Third Day of Christmas: An Angel Sent to Tell

Leave a Comment / Christmas, Lung Cancer, Personal, The Pastoral Call, Theological Reflection / By /

The cancer journey involves many notifications, the exchange of news, lab results, or even game-changers mid-way through a course of treatment. Most often, the messenger is the doctor, or in my case one of three doctors representing various disciplines. In the past week, I have had a sit-down with each: the radiology oncologist (last Friday), the surgeon (Tuesday), and the medical oncologist (Friday). Yesterday’s encounter was the summary decision-making meeting. After collating all the data culled from a definitive CT scan and the surgeon’s assessment of it, Dr. Chen brought into yesterday’s meeting a proposal for further treatment: one more

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